Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Here's one I'm sure you can relate to. At what age, roughly, do your parents suddenly start saying, "Good morning" to total strangers. My old boy, whilst once a fairly surly character, now pipes up a cheery "Mornin'" to any old codger out walking his dog. Strange. Seems to me that I'm probably in an intermediate stage of learning certain things. When you get a bit older I suppose you can see the benefits of certain actions compared to the amount of effort required to execute them (the actions, not the old codgers). Toby has this real bug up his arse about making sure that things are in order. He lines up Sarah's nail varnish bottles (yes I know) and has a fit if one of them gets knocked out of line. I like things to be in order as well, but this has tempered with age and I presume that's what will happen as he gets older and other stuff starts becoming more of a priority. Like making sure no-one finds out about his nail varnish collection!

Some people just don't think. I went to McDonalds a couple of weeks ago to get breakfast for the family (wow, the great hunter eh?) and on the way back approaching a pedestrian crossing I slowed down for a man and his dog to cross. The bloke was dangling a clear plastic bag that he'd obviously just scooped some poop into. Firstly, thanks. No seriously, thanks for not leaving it on the pavement. But, secondly, no thanks. Who the hell scoops poop into a clear plastic bag for god's sake?! No-one wants to see it. Especially people about to eat their breakfast. And don't think I didn't see the irony in he and I both carrying bags of shit.

GC is always picking his nose! Do managers feel that it's a perk or something? To be able to blatantly root around in their nasal cavities devoid of shame? Like, "Yeah you caught me hoiking a booger out of my nose, but I earn more than you so get back to your data entry. Keep working hard and one day you might be able to go booger-picking in full view of your work mates, sucker"

Fave random Futurama quote: "I'm not Evans!!"

Monday, February 16, 2004

Last minute training session and total laptop rebuild interrupted my flow dude. Bummer. And Tiscali had nothing to do with my connection issues - hooray.

OK, first up: Brio. It's good old fashioned wooden toy railway stuff. Kid's love it, parent's love it, I love it. But what the hell is this...Brio Pirate Railway. WTF?! Where in all the annals of world history are there recorded tales of jolly roger pirates running a railway? It doesn't really fit with the image of a buccaneer as far as I can see. A life on the ocean waves, bound by no man, free to take what you want at will, plunder and pillage etc etc. The only comparison I can see is the daylight robbery prices charged for the rum and weevil biscuits (coffee and a Kit Kat). And the tea lady with the beard and eye patch.

Next up: London Eye. Rubbish. Good for looking at smog, rooftops and cranes, shite for anything else.

You know when you're driving along a country road and there's a crow or magpie in the road, pecking at the tarmac, leaving it to the last second before flying off? What the hell are they pecking at? Cos by the time I get to that point in the road there's shag all there. I presume that there is some sort of rotting flesh or guts or whatever that's been mashed into the road by all the traffic and maybe the outline of the rabbit has been squashed massively flat so that you can only really see it from the air, like those ancient line drawings. I wonder if you painted a picture of a dead rabbit onto the road and coloured it in, do you think they'd be attracted to it?

I said that: "I thought I had an idea, but it was just an IKEA."

Anyway, I'm not ashamed...I bloody love Xanadu. And Chess.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Someone just said "crikey". Crikey!

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I forgot my book - duh. You liked Crouching Tiger? Watch 'Hero' with Jet Li - bloody awesome.

One of my colleagues resembles Yogi Bear and quite often trots off to the canteen informing us that he's, "Going to grab some munchies". I find it annoying but difficult to elucidate why.

The DM + Jemini 2xLP arrived yesterday. Sweeeet. Clear vinyl with amazing cover art by ehquestionmark - with a free 12" to boot. Quality service from Warpmart.

I'm a little less miserable today and that's because Tiscali have diagnosed a network fault as the reason that I have no broadband connection at present, which meant that the 5 hours I spent on Monday night trying to resolve the issue wasn't a complete waste of time. Oh, hang on a minute, yes it was!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

I'm miserable me. That's why I haven't updated this blog for so long. But then I thought, well thats a good reason TO update it.

Went out for a meal for Sarah's sister's 30th birthday at the weekend and Sarah and I got to sit next to 2 really rubbish, boring people. They were talking about how they had just converted their outside toilet and their daughter had contracting tendons in her feet which meant that she walked with her toes curled under. This was really not putting me in the mood for my pork toast starter I can tell you. We stumbled into a conversation about godparents and Sarah divulged that I couldn't be godfather for my best man's daughter because I hadn't been christened. I said it wouldn't fit in with my Satanic beliefs anyway, what with child sacrifices and all that. *Lead balloon, on the floor.* Next up, 80/20 carpets - a particular topic I hate intensely. I had to pinch my leg in a camel bite style to stop myself laughing. The waitress forgot my beer initially then gave me a weaker beer than I required to get me through the meal. Then the kitchen extractor fan backed up, billowing chilli smoke into the restaurant, just about killing anyone with asthma. Rubbish.

I'm reading Don Quixote - it's good senor, reeeel good si? Fisrt day I brought it in to work I got my daily Word of the Day e-mail from and the word was - quixotic...spook. I'm listening to Crayz Walz on Def Jux and he just name checked Scrappy Doo - made me smile.

So much else has happened and I have a load of it written down. See you tomorrow - whoever "you" are. Stop stalking me.