Saturday, August 12, 2006

I bet the blogs are alive with comment on the latest terror threat currently overrunning the UK's media at present. To be honest I don't think it's anything to worry about, it'll all blow over. The Atlantic most probably! Ah hurdy hurr hurr.

Another noteworthy media occurence (for me anyway) was the reporting of Lonesome George the last Abingdon Island Giant Tortoise (Geochelone nigra abingdonii) left in the world. Although a zoo in Prague claims to have another male, so there could be a mate for him. But not mate in the sexual sense of the word. Unless they are Gaylapagos Island Tortoises of course. I live in Abingdon, Oxon, UK and was thinking of contacting the town council to see if we could sponsor him or raise money etc as part of a pointless PR stunt.

Something not noted in the national media surprisingly was the new horn Toby got for his bike. He was very pleased with it, honking at anything that moved on the way back from town. He told us that he was going to, "cycle round the Oldies and honk his horn so that they all come out of their houses". He was most distressed when this didn't actually go as planned. He was pedalling round, furiously honking his horn to no effect; the doors remained firmly closed and not even a curtain twitched. "It's not working Mum!" he wailed, "It's not working!!".

Yesterday I got spam from these "people":

Squatting Subtropical

Incontinent L Dogtrot

Fleeing A Pendant

That's just weird isn't it?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I caad bediev id. Sorry I was holding my nose. I can't believe it, I went into the gents just now and I swear to god it smelled like the cubicle inhabitants had been fed on cabbage leaves and potato peelings for 48 hours; sulphur, methane, brimstone, noxious clouds of decay from the very bowels of Hades itself. The gas emissions in that place are so high that when you leave, opening the door lets out a slight hiss from the changing atmospheric pressure. They need an airlock or something. Either that or we stop hiring Neanderthals, but they're soo obedient it would be a shame.

I don't actually have that much to say at present. I bought the Various Production CD, which is as good as it was hyped to be and really enjoyed the films Lucky Number Slevin and The Family Stone of late as well. Actually, both of those DVDs had that really annoying FACT (Federation Against Copyright Theft) advert that you must have seen, like I have, a million times.

It starts with a jolt, "Bzzeeeww!!". Edgy hardcore music reminiscent of an old skool Belgian techno track circa '92 and loads of jaunty camera angles. Jittery typewritten messages flash up, "You wouldn't steal a car." - shows some bloke in a hoody trying to steal a car with one of those metal ruler things. "You wouldn't steal a TV." - shows some bloke in a hoody stealing a TV. "You wouldn't steal a handbag." - shows some bloke in a hoody stealing a handbag (presumably to put with the TV in the stolen car he has running round the corner). I see where they're going with this..."You wouldn't steal a movie" - shock horror! Shows a teenage girl in her bedroom bringing the world's economy to it's knees by downloading 'something' on her PC. Luckily, before too many actors, actresses, directors, producers and CEOs of international media companies worth billions of dollars starve to death, she hits cancel, grabs her bag and decides to go out, presumably to meet her friends and so avoid the evil temptations that can pervade the life of a computer geek, stuck in their bedroom, disconnected from the real world and vulnerable to all types of internet based depravity. Like learning how software works, talking to people form all round the world in forums and actually downloading legitimate movies and music. Well, FACT, I would steal a movie actually and I would steal all those other things too if I could get a free piece of software off the internet that downloaded them anonymously onto media that costs me about 10p. So there.

Of course I would also buy a whole lot more films if, instead of having to wait for the movie promotion juggernaut to rumble to a stop, I could buy the UK DVD release at the same time as the US movie theatre release, without having to wait for a UK movie theatre release and US DVD release in between. The problem for the movie industry is that the bootleg problem is pretty much all their own doing. They hype a film so much that the public are literally chomping at the bit to see it, then they have staggered releases (to enable them to make as much money as possible across cinema and DVD sales) and make them wait so long that bootleggers have ample time to copy and distribute shoddy versions, which the fans are willing to watch because they want to see the film so much. Instead of trying to turn the tide (they never will) they should surf it. Provide the films to the people that want them, when they want them and in the format they prefer, even if that's "muffled, shaky camcorder in a bag" format. Hey I could get a job as the guy that get's up during the movie to go to the toilet!


And the quote for the day today is Abraham Lincoln's famous, "Whatever you are, be a good one". That was obviously penned before paedophiles were invented then.