Whilst cycling in to work today I started noticing an increasing number of small empty bottles lying in the road and occasionally on the pavement. About one every 500m or so. In the space of the last kilometre as I reached work, I saw 3 bottles, which actually turned out to be miniatures (shot-sized bottles of booze). This struck me as unusual and started me thinking about some of the possible reasons why these would be strewn around like this on the road into the business park where I work. I pictured:

a Hunter S Thompson type character weaving his dusty old convertible down the highway, sporting aviator shades and a cowboy hat with a laughing blonde draped round his neck and leaving a trail of bottles and exhaust fumes behind him

or maybe an alcoholically depressed CEO, slouched in the leather seat of his Jaguar, downing a handful of miniatures before he gets to work, his manufacturing business on the brink of bankruptcy. The tiny bottles travel from lip to lap twice and are then dropped carelessly out of the driver's window onto the road

or... and then I didn't have to speculate anymore, as I discover the source of the trail. Asleep under a bush next to a half-eaten kebab was a garden gnome.



Rough night's sleep I bet he had.

More true stories next week listeners.