Thursday, September 17, 2009

Awww, what the hell?! A new 50 Cent album?! No fair!

When "Fiddler" and Kanye Wazzock (nee-West) went head-to-massively bloated head in a sales figure battle for their last albums, "Fido" said that he'd stop releasing music if Kanye sold more than him. And Kanye battered him. Although it seems that he's turned his attention now to demolishing small white girls these days (a-la Taylor Swift) rather than tackling muscle-bound, ex-drug dealer, ghetto gangsters.

Anyway, "Foo-foo", you lied, you big fat liar!

Friday, September 11, 2009

An arboreal theme for you today, and a quick announcement that I'm not going to bother hyperlinking and Googling for stuff on the net before I post updates anymore (oh, you didn't know I did that? shoot..). Anyways, this is a picture of the house\bungalow of the guy that lives opposite my Dad.

I say "lives", but you'd think from the state of his lawn that he might have died in his sleep, like, 20 years ago and no-one took any notice. Least of all his gardener. Anyway, the story here is that one day, about 15 years ago, his car, which I think is a green Talbot Alpine, broke down in his drive. There could be like a really big funny bit of blogging in the middle here, but there isn't. He simply went out and bought a red Talbot Alpine to replace it. However, he was obviously so distraught that, just like when his Mum died he kept her in the cellar, fully clothed and sitting in a rocking chair for 12 years (possible lie), he decided to keep the "carpse" in his driveway. For 15 years. Rotting away, whilst trees grew up from saplings all around it. In fact, as one of the trees has grown up flush with the rear bumper, the only way he'll move that car now is by chopping down the tree. Yeah, he's weird.

Next up, "Hey, doesn't this log look like a crocodile?"...

That's because it IS a crocodile, silly!

No, I'm just joshing it's a log.

No, not really!! It is a carnivorous amphibean: it's an a-log-gator :0)

Nah, it is just a log.....I think :0/